Undeniably Ours

Yesterday we completed the process, went to court and were told that Orly is now ours!! Wow, thanks . Actually, it was very touching but odd in that we had to go through the time and expense to adopt a child that is biologically one of ours. I can't seem to seperate the politics of the situation - I almost feel like it would be irresponsible to do so. However, being the responsible parents and uber-paranoid people that we are, we have made it official, legal and true. We are each an adoptive parent of this beautiful child.

Judge John Erlick presided over our case and was great. We'll vote for him next year, for sure.
Here is the link to the proceeding: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6sgcS2Fy8TU

So, I'll keep this post short and sweet before I work myself into a bit of a tizzy here. Politics aside we are two of the happiest people on earth!!

Let us know you stopped by...............

Slow down you're moving too fast

I've been working through a huge pile of "stuff" that has been sitting on my desk for the past, well, 7 weeks. Bills, unopened mail, articles to read, parenting info to browse and various things to do. I wish I could say that I've sent out most of the thank you cards for all the wonderful gifts that Orly has been sent, but, I can't say it cause I haven't done it.

We've recovered from all the wonderful family and friends that have visited from out of state in the past few weeks. It was great to have them around. Tom and I moved into the baby room and we gave the master bedroom to my parents. We loved it with the baby, the dog and us all in the small room. It felt simple and sweet. My parents were a huge help, we miss them already. It was great to see all my cousins and of course Marcia, Gerri and Mia. Over the past month we have learned how fortunate the three of us are in this life to be surrounded by such an amazing group of people.

Orly's Simchat Bat was on May 13th right down the street from our house. We hosted a hundred friends and family to celebrate our daughter. After Orly was blessed and the story of her name was told we ate, danced and drank the afternoon away. It was the perfect event, perfect. I look forward to telling her stories about it for years to come.

You can see part of the ceremony here.

This Monday Orly will be two months old. We're doing pretty well with the new addition to our household. The three of us go out for dinner two or three times a week. Orly is still ordering off the menu given that she still has to be careful with what she eats. She has been to her first major fundraiser when she debuted at the Jewish Family Service luncheon last week. She was pretty cute all dressed up. We go on lots of walks together with the dog. Our urban hikes are a combination of errands and enjoyment. I was walking down Broadway the other day and someone I did not immediately recognize said, "Is this Orly?". I freaked out for half a second until she introduced herself as our friends nanny. We live in such a great place!!!

In the next post I'll put a link to more pictures. Thanks for stopping by - let us know you were here. -Larry, Tom and Orly (and Neenah too!!)

You Can Meet Your Party at the Arrival.......Gate?

Well, on April 2nd at 3:12AM Miss Orly Hannah Nicholas-Underhill made her appearance and was greeted into the world warmly by a team of professionals, her daddies, her bio mom and bio mom's husband. It was an incredible day.

She is now just over two and a half weeks old and has created quite the commotion since being here. The dads are adjusting quite well and are forever grateful to Nanny Pat - she comes at night and loves little Orly with all that she has. This allows us to get some sleep so that we are fully present, awake and aware when we are together.

We are eternally grateful to T and her family for giving us this most precious gift and changing our life forever (yes, folks we knew that our life would be changed forever. Thank you to all of you who kept telling us that as if we didn't know).

We are both so happy with our new family and look forward to all that it brings. Here is a pic of our girls together. They get along really well.

I'll do my best to add something to the blog every once in awhile. I'm not the greatest blogger in the world since I have no idea who my audience is. It's this unusual conundrum.

Here's to hoping, wishing and praying for more sleep. - Larry, Tom and Orly

She'll Be Blessed

Well, today is officially week 39 and we're waiting - that's for sure. T has a doctors appointment today. They will check her out and see what's going on so we'll know more this afternoon.

In the mad preparation for this unbelievable life changing event I decided to send out an email to all of my friends and family around the world that have raised kids in the past ten years. I asked them what their favorite parenting book, website, resource was and which one was the most useful to them. Many interpreted my email as general neurosis about the impending arrival of our little girl and offered words of support and encouragement which was, truth be told, an unexpected bonus. Tom and I are so blessed as will our little girl. We have an incredible support system in the friends and family that we have all over.

Anyhow, I think that in addition to all of the useful information that folks passed on was some wonderful offers (babysitting, food), books (suggested and sent (thanks Stacy)),and very generous discounts on services, was the advice that my friend Ivy offered. In a very simple response she said, "Call my mother, I did". I've known Ivy's mom and dad for ten of the 15 years that I've lived in Seattle and even though they live in Florida (of course) I see them each time they visit and feel very much a part of the family. An old camper of mine responded and said "....send to Camp Ramah.". It blows me away that I know him since he's 10 years old.
Arlene Eisenberg's book What to Expect the First Year made the top of the recomendation list. Pretty much everyone suggested it.

So, thank you to all of you who responded to my email and have been so wonderfully helpful in all of this. I've baked and cooked, cleaned, organized, gardened, made lists, knitted pretty things, OH and fiinished grad school! I've shopped and schlepped. I've even started developing the marketing materials for my own private practice.

So I can honestly say that I'm ready - for what, I know that I have no idea. Tom is ready as well, again, for what? No idea, but we are looking forward to it.

It seems like that's it for this entry. I'll keep y'all posted on the happenings. We're taking our computers with us to the hospital since they have wi-fi in the birthing center (head nurse's suggestion. Leave a comment and let me know that you stopped by. - Larry

Below is a compiled list of the suggested websites:

Parent Hacks - http://www.parenthacks.com/
Babygadget - http://www.babygadget.net/
Thingamababy - http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/
Blogging Baby - http://www.bloggingbaby.com
Rookie Moms - http://www.rookiemoms.com
Invitations Ink - http://www.invitationsink.net/
Feather Boa Fathers - http://www.featherboafathers.com
Healthy Children - http://blogs.webmd.com/healthy-children/index.html
Working Dad - http://blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com/family
Red Tricycle - http://www.red-tri.com/ - a good seattle resource for parents
Baby Legs - www.babylegs.net
Buy Buy Baby - www.buybuybaby.com
A Child's Closet - www.achildscloset.com
Olie Bollen - www.oliebollen.com
Garnet Hill - www.garnethill.com
Sitter City - www.sittercity.com
Baby Center - www.babycenter.com
Happy Baby Food - www.happybabyfood.com

Babies, Boys and Bellies

I've pretty much decided that sometimes there just isn't anything to say unless of course you want the day by day details of us doing our best to get ready for princess' arrival. That basically means to take care of all of the projects around the house that we know we are just not going to have the strength nor the energy to get to once she is here. So, after all of the basics have been bought, most of those projects have been started - we're pretty much as ready today as we ever will be. Now I feel like I'm free to finish my graduate work which comes to an end three weeks before our due date. Whoo hooo!! This is going to be a great year!!!!

Tom, Peter (of Franz and Peter) and I took a Baby CPR class at the end of last month. It was worth it and we learned quite a bit. It was kind of cool to hold the baby doll - woke us up to the whole reality of it all for the most part. The other thing that woke us all up was the birth of Bill and Eric's twins - very cool. They came at week 34 down in Portland. The whole waking up thing is mostly about the fact unlike heterosexual couples, we aren't living with the woman who is giving birth to our child. Therefore it's easier be distracted or kept busy by the ins and outs of life. For Tom and I we've made the most of the last few weeks by registering at Tottini, Target, Pottery Barn and Babies R' Us. I'm glad that's over.

I was reading some of the blogs that I subscribe to and went to read T's latest entry which I found absolutely hysterical titled, "Will Breed for Food". There on that page was a picture of my very own eggplant parmesean. Our little country bumpkin surrogate loved my eggplant parm!! I was thrilled. I went down last week for the latest doctor's appointment and brought down another cooler full of meals. Neenah and I made the trip that day as Tom couldn't get out of meetings. We're planning on going down next week and hopefully will tour the hospital. The folks that I did meet over there so far have been fantastic. I'm getting so excited.


I swore that I would'nt show T's face - actually she threatened me with my life. It's too bad cause T really is very cute. We'll be lucky if our little girl is as cute as she it. That said, here is a picture of T's belly from the doctor's office.



It's late and I'm pooped - till next time.

Here She is Miss..............

First, a thank you to those of you who have emailed, phoned, harrassed and asked where we were, what we're doing and how the pregnancy is going. Graduate school and other obligations keep me from staying on top of this blog. That being said......

The big news came on the 20th of November when we went down for our second ultrasound. It's a, it's a, it's a GIRL!! We are all pretty excited. T. knew from the beginning and said so - "It's going to be a girl!", "It's going to be a girl!" . We had no idea ourselves and are simply thrilled that she's got all of her organs and appendages. You can see in the picture above what a little lady she is just laying there with her legs crossed waiting patiently for the technician to stop poking her.

After being at that appointment, on the way back to Seattle Tom and I were talking about all that T. (and her family) are doing for us. We are both so completely overwhelmed with gratitude. We do our best to express that, mostly with chocolate, this time however we brought down a few home cooked meals to help along the way and some chocolate. Godiva, of course. Nothing but the best for our girls.

We're off on vacation for the next few weeks on what our friend Franz has named a "babymoon". The sort of last major trip before the baby. Although I'm not so sure about that, if I can have my way.

We had dinner with our friends Peter and Franz a few weeks ago and came up with the name of our gay daddies club - our website is up, we're just a little slow in putting the content on the site. Check us out at www.featherboafathers.com . Neenah will be our mascot as you can see. Tom will just continue to look as handsome as he is. Once again, let us know you stopped by.

Till next time.........

Casa Bonita - It's Awesome!

Happy New Year!!!

This picture of all of us is pre food orgy and post first ultra-sound. Sorry it's not clearer.

We are well into our 12th week and just as excited as ever. We've made our list of things to do in the next 6 months including Mexico for a few weeks in December (it's a big house so let us know if you want to visit) and various household projects around here. We'll be busy for sure.

The whole coming out process about having a baby is much like the coming out process of being gay. It ain't easy! I think about T. living in rural Washington and "coming out" as pregnant for a gay couple to co-workers and neighbors, friends and family. Both of us worry about her experience and of course hold her in an even higher regard for being willing to take this on. Can you imagine? I've asked myself, "would I do it?". We are blessed, we truly are.

So, with the Jewish New Year here and the required introspection of the holiday I have asked myself, what will my contribution be this year? What can I imagine? And, what will I do to make this world a better place? T. is an inspiration, a model to us all. So, with that I wonder what kind of parent I will be in teaching our child to give selflessly and lovingly, to help others live better and live fully. One thing I do know and am so happy about is that by having this child, we continue my grandfather's legacy of leaving this place a little bit better. After all he raised my father and my father raised me and taught me how to be the person that I am today working to make our world a better place. As for Tom, well - we both know how much his dad loves him and is proud of him. We just know it. He has had to wrestle with his values to accept and embrace us as a gay couple, and now a gay couple soon to have a child. That's not easy, but we appreciate the struggle and the willingness to struggle and to continue to have us in his life. There are others who are not as fortunate as we are. All of these lessons we will digest, process and teach in our own way to our children and aim towards peace, love and understanding.

After the shooting at the Jewish Federation this summer here in Seattle, I attended my friend and former colleague Pam Waechter's funeral. I was filled with shock and grief and knew not how to express myself. Afterwards, I sat down with my guitar and for the first time in my life wrote a song. Together We Remember became the final product with the help of my friend and guitar teacher Ryan Trager. We sang it with the ensemble at the synagogue last weekend and we will be singing it this Thursday at the Jewish Federation's Annual Campaign dinner. I'm looking forward to sharing the song with the 1000 people set to be in attendence that night.

We'll update soon after our next doctors appt. Thanks.

Let us know you were here.